What motivates you as a man? Really stop and think about it. Why do you work so hard (or don’t), why did you marry the woman you married (or why are you single) and what shapes the way you raise your children or interact with your friends? Believe it or not men are not products of chance but are molded and shaped by their surroundings and interactions in life. Some choose to take the YOLO approach while others choose to do the hard, mature work of discovering who they want to be. These courageous men want to be better – strive to be better -, but don’t always know where where to start. Last week I wrote about the code. I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss my own personal code and the affect it has had on my life and the lives of those around me. The first tenet of my personal code is Integrity. My first exposure to hard-core Integrity came with my enlistment in the US Air Force. From the moment you get off that bus the Core Values of Integrity, Service before Self, and Excellence in All We Do are literally shouted at you for the next several months. They pound them into us so that when we leave basic to go represent the Air Force all over the world people will know our lives are guided by these principles and ideas. Integrity First Sadly, integrity is something that is lacking not only with our military members but our society in general. Sayings like “It’s only wrong if you get caught” are heard everywhere. And let’s not get started on never-ending scandals of infidelity or corruptions amongst our leaders. Thanks to these lousy examples, our children don’t even know what the word integrity means. Case in point: I recently taught a lesson on this subject to a group of middle school students that included both rich and poor, white, black, and Hispanic students, and not a single one could tell me the definition of integrity. Can you? Integrity has a few meanings but my favorite is “Doing the right thing even when no one is looking.” Short, simple, easy to implement and possibly life changing. Think about it, chew on it, and make it happen in your life every day. Since joining the Air Force I have adopted this code as one of my personal core values and I can attest to how they have exposed my shortcomings and helped me better myself. I recently taught a lesson on Integrity and no one could tell me the definition. Can you?Click To Tweet - Powered By CoSchedule It has helped me be a harder worker. When others are slacking off or taking it easy, integrity pushes me to ignore them and set the example for good, hard work. Integrity motivates me to be honest in my speech and not gossip or bad mouth others. Integrity helps me keep my marriage vows intact, and when other men disrespect women by their actions or eyes it allows me to stay focused on the one woman I made a vow to. Lastly, Integrity helps me to realize when I screw up, tells me to man up and admit my faults and accept correction, and, like a real man, live so that my integrity is not questioned again. “If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-night useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows.” Moliere Maybe somewhere along the way you lost your integrity. If you’re being honest, you probably never had any to begin with. Lurching through life like a ship lost at sea without a capable captain or crew to guide the ship till it inevitably crashes on some far off distant land or capsizes at sea. Men I challenge you to take some time and figure out what Manly Codes you want to live your life by. Ladies reading this, encourage the men in your life to write out some codes and consider the value of having Integrity lead the way. And men, may we, the few, those with integrity, stand out amongst a sea of fakers, cheats and liars. And men, may we show them a life worth living – a life of integrity.
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